The big question after last night’s thrilling Heat OT win is, of course, why Roy Hibbert was on the bench for the game’s final 2 defensive possessions. As seen above, ball go in without Hibbert, ball stay out with Hibbert. Pacers coach Frank Vogel said he’d have to look at the tape, but would most likely keep Roy in next time. Duh. Hindsight is 20/20, but this time it’s more like 7’3” jackass.
Steph Curry was given the key to the city of San Fran yesterday, and all he asked in return was for the guy giving the speech to get his name right. Waaaaaay too much to ask. Here’s the direct quote from the Mayor, pictured above:
“You give Steve Curry an inch, and he might take a Golden State a mile!”
Notorious dark alley guy Jerry Stackhouse stopped by Highly Questionable and talked kicking ass and taking names. Be sure to stick around for some of that good old a cappella that Jerry’s also known for at the end (I guess…..?)
Former Heat center Alonzo Mourning gave a speech at the opening of a Miami Microsoft Store (huh?), when someone from the crowd asked him who he thought was better, Michael Jordan or LeBron James. Zo’s response was exactly as you’d expect: inflammatory. “I’m gonna tell you what Scottie (Pippen) said. Scottie said that LeBron would kick MJ’s ass. And I said, ‘Scottie, you’re right.’” So not only did Alonzo likely throw a friend under the buss, but Jordan’s former teammate might think BronBron is better than the widely accepted GOAT. I guess that leaves me with exactly one question, and one question only: the elderly in Florida know how to use PCs?
I was all set to make jokes about how terrible Dan Gilbert and his whimsical band of merry men looked last night, or how much Nick looks like a hobbit Orville Redenbacher. But then I found out the young Gilbert has a nerve disorder called neurofibromatosis, and the bowties support a charity that helps raise money for a cure. So instead of laughing, now I just feel awful. Pencil me in as a Cavs fan next season, which means I’ll be rooting for them all the time in 2014 and not just when they’re playing the Lakers.
Everyone keeps making jokes that Nick Gilbert, son of obnoxious Cavs owner Dan Gilbert, should “pick my powerball numbers,” or “play the lottery for me.” And after being the face of the Cavaliers for 3 years and winning 2 number 1 picks, I don’t blame them. But you really want to prove how lucky you are? Go try and catch a pass in traffic from Mark Sanchez. You survive that, I’m a believer.
The big news out of last night (aside from the Grizzlies digging themselves a hole as wide as Marc Gasol’s fleshy arms) is the Cleveland Cavaliers winning the Draft Lottery, for the 2nd time in 3 years. The Magic took 2, with the Wizards placing 3rd. The Cavs actually have multiple picks in the 1st round. I look forward to them taking Brandon Weedon at quarterback, then Travis Hafner as DH. Wait, I might be turned around here…
Many props to Deadspin, who unearths some pretty dope/weird stories, but it turns out the great and generous Kevin Durant has a problem. That huge back tattoo he’s been working on for years? Well, it’s got a little typo. Can anyone spot it? Should I wait? Is it creepy to make you play Word Find on some dude’s back? Maybe? Yeah, maybe. OK, it’s “mature” on the last line, which was inked as “mautre.” Let’s just get Sam Presti to trade that word for 3 less talented words and a mediocre draft pick, everything’ll be fine.